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Reviews

 

Snap-Her. What can I say about Snap-Her... Sick, fast, angry chicks with balls bigger than my own. Produced by the legendary Subs-man, Nicky Garratt the opening track Suburban Brats is fuckin’ brilliant. I Wanna Beavis You makes me want to pull down my pans and check myself. Halts Maul Du Fotze I can’t understand but I like as well as Sex Change. Track #10 might as well be the only reason you go out and buy this seedy CD. If you don’t get the title just lift up the CD from its case and have yourself a tiny little gander. Nuff said! Recommended!!   - Censor This #11, October ‘98

Snap-Her is a hot name in the punk world.. I can imagine why, when listening to their new cd. Two minutes songs played by Andi Beltramo, the mohawk girl, and her band. Seventeen songs are on this new release, which ‘only’ lasts for about thirty-five minutes. Fast, furious punk songs influenced by names like the Clash, the Ramones, Blondie and the New York Dolls. Lyrics that are right into your face and even someties getting really funny. With Nice Girls, they give their own raunchy version of the Rose Tattoo song Nice Boys. In Hals Maul Du Fotze they even sing in German, while in Gato Feo they sing in Spanish. The song structure sounds very similar to the Blitz Baiez (I wonder what they are doing at the moment?). But the best part is yet to come. La Cuccaracha is Snap-Her’s version of the old classic tune and a damn brilliant one! The song Golden Cocktail will give the PMRC something to think aobut. This song was the reason to get this CD decorated with a huge EXTREME PARENTAL WARNING sticker. Ignore the damn thing and have a listen to the ultimate Queen Bitch of Rock and Roll; Andi Beltramo and her band Snap-Her. Accoridng to the information I have now, her new ‘crew’ consists of Elibeth and Elaine. This CD sure rocks! It will even get your 80 year old grandad jump out of his wheelchair and jump for joy. You bet ya! - Metal Maidens #13, October ‘98

You’re up for a real treat when the cover of the CD says, “This CD contains adult themes and images of female ruination”. Yep...picturews of the Queen Bitch herself (no, not the gorilla bitch) peeing in cups. Gimpy coundn’t stop salivating and saying,”Mmmm...tasty”. I don’t know what she’s thinking about, but the music is better than their last CD. Everyone knows yow to play their instruments now and the vocals have improved. Lots of songs similar to the Clash and UK Subs. The lyrics are crap, but the sick sense of humor thing is what Snap-Her is all about.    - Sven & Gimpy #14, June ‘98Snap.JPG (26206 bytes)

As the title may suggest, this disc is full of rudimentary, sometimes corny, raunch ‘n roll. It’s actually pretty good, but if you’re looking for substance, I’d suggest you move on. Listen to this lyric from She’s A Motorhead - “She’s a trailer park queen, her pussy tastes like spam.” I should mention (lest you shout “sexist!”) that it’s an all girl band. Now that I mention it, there’s only one name listed in the credits, and the only pictures (not counting the close ups of female genitalia) are of Andy Beltramo, the lead singer / Guitarist, so I’m thinking that Snap-Her may be a one woman show. I like it, but I hate when bands put the same song (in this case “I Wanna Beavis You”) on all their releases.    - Chicken is Good Food #4, June’98

A great punk rock CD. 17 vicious songs about all different topics. How exactly do you “beavis” someone anyway? Get off your sorry fat ass and go buy this album. You will be pleased w/ the music and the picture under the CD.    - Bad Stain #5, June ‘98

For my money, it’s worth it for the close p of the femaile netherworld with the quote “I’ve got a golden cocktail waiting just for you”. Yow! That takes... ummm... balls to do. This band amazes me. One minute, they are doing great, one-two, in your face punk rock worthy of all the pit in Pittsburgh, then the next they are doing a real dumb song like I Wanna Beavis You. But there are so many classics here, it’s worth skipping over the few clunkers. Nice Girls Don’t Play Rock n Roll, Monkey See Monkey Do etc... Rockin. Just wish they would have weededout the bad songs.  - FOE #40, May ‘98

Get out the whips and chains, LA’s Snap-Her is back with their latest full length and lead singer (the queen bitch herself) Andrea Beltramo is bolder than ever. Her S&M attack on “Suburban Brats, Alien Bitch from Outer Space and Golden Cocktail packs plenty of punk frive. One thing’s for sure, this record does just that. - Spank #24, May ‘98

This album is pissed off! song titles such as Alien Bitch from Outer Space, Conformist Cunt, and Suburbian Brats. The music is angry and punching. I want to release the singer of Snap-Her on people I don’t like. And you thought that Bratmobile were bitches. If the Spice Girls and Snap-Her got into a scrap, the Spice Girls would be beaten into a bloody pulp!   - Caustic Truths, May ‘98

Snotty punk rawk in all its grimy, sloppy beauty! Mixing acidic humor with a snarling guitar/vocal team-up, Snap-Her’s Andi Beltramo lives up to the album’s title, Queen Bitch of Rock’n’Roll. She’s a tough-as-shit bitch, but she has the decency to put out a good record on how much everything sucks and everyone’s an asshole. Songs like “Nice Girls (Don’t Play Rock & Roll) and Sex Change stand out from the pack (and, hell, it’s kinda cool that Andi sings in Spanish and yer still trying to sing along), but roadburners like I Wanna Beavis You are what Queen Biltch is all about. 17 tracks in all, 34 minutes of anger-fueled punk -- heaven help you if you call it chick rock.  - Lollipop #43, May ‘98

And on the eighth day God created Andi Beltramo, the most pissed off, non politically correct, punk rock chick ever. Seventeen great punk tunes will keep you glued to this disc. Suburban Brats, Nice Girls, and Golden Cocktail are the best and most ferocious songs here. Two songs are sung in Spanish and one other in German. Produced by the UK Subs Nicky Garratt. After listening to this disc, I was praying that Andi herself would come walking through my front door with the solemission of severely beating me with my dirty sweat socks. I think I’m in love.    - Jersey Beat #62, April ‘98

Bitchinly punk. - Roctober #21, April ‘98

Punk rock with a definite old school influence. I found it more enjoyable than I had expected, and way more energetic as well. Produced by the UK Subs’ Nicky Garratt, a living legend of sorts. Anti-PC, old school punk with girl vocals and energy. Good stuff, a very pleasant surprise in a sea of what has become very boring; old school punk. Exceptional.    - Midget Breakdancing Digest #7, April ‘98

I loves this band the first time around and I’m glad to say that I love them just as much this time. Raunchy girl rock - which I mean in an all praising way - they play a tight and punkchy style that has a strong rock-out quality with a high dosage of pure punk adrenaline. I’ve always been a lover of this style and genre - and shit - if this band would have been around 10 years ago when I was first discovering punk bands with women - I would have been stoked and satisfied beyone words. These days my appreciation and love is just as strong - it’s just fortunately more full-filled. This satisfies a huge part of my hunger! Total rock-out pogo-able punk! I love it! - Slug & Lettuce #53, April ‘98

Yes, that is singer/guitarist Andi Beltramo on the front, back (whoa!), and a coupla other places in the insert. No, that’s not her nookie in the other places. Sorry. This would be the follow-up to their last NRA release, It Smells, It Burns, It Stings, of a year or so ago. Producer/label honcho Nicky Garratt describes this one as “light-years ahead.” 17 tracks of tough-bitch spiky screaming punk, recorded by Nicky and friends at San Fran’s fabulous Wally Sound! It’s Motorhead, Riot Squad, chains and mohawks and garter straps, oo baby. Includes a new version of I Wanna Beavis You, plus great stuff like Golden Coctail, Suburban Brats, Gato Feo which is a Spanish ditty about ugly pussy or something, and not to forget the Krauts, they include Haltz Maul Du Fotze whatever the hell that means. Beat me, whip me, buy this!   - Flipside #111, April ‘98

These chicks scare the hell out of me. Good punk, gratuituous beaver shots, sex, drugs, violence and Beavis and Butthead. This is a disc which simply has it all.  - Impact #13, March ‘98

I figured I wouldn’t like this ‘cuse I’m not into female vocalists, but this is pretty good. Fast paced punk rock (which I like) and pissed off female vocals (which I don’t like). Also this record has a few songs in Spanish (?). The record, all in all is too long. It starts to drag, and the silly little lyrics make it a dust collector, but the picture behind the CD is a nice addition. I know, typical fuckin’ small prick male. - Under the Volcano #42, March ‘98

This chick band is the most disgusting, ugly, perverse, disease spreading pile of crap that I have ever encountered. These girls should be trapped inside of a big steel ball and hurtled off to the planet Jupiter.     - Belchin’ Waffles #3, March ‘98E.jpg (50428 bytes)

I opened the jewelcase and nearly had a heartattack! There staring back at me in all ti’s glory was a color, life size picture of andy’s snatch. Yikes! Well, at least she keeps it nicely trimmed (pardon the Pun). This new one was produced by UK Sub Nicky and sounds miles ahead of the last CD. Very Brit-punk, with tons of attitude. Like the Anti-Nowere League and Fear fronted by one very pissed off South American girl. Cool Rose Tattoo cover!  - Sonic Iguana #2, March ‘98

Ooooh! I’m scared. This rules! From the same label that put out great Swingin’ Utters and Anti-Flag records comes Snap-Her. Just use your imagination to what they sound like...Bad-ass girls who have that Nobody’s sexual, trashy garage punk thing down to a V. The first 2 songs weren’t that interesting then this song about Beavis and Butthead (with clips from the show) came outta nowhere and the whole rest of the album got poppier and I fell in love with it. Check this out, especially if you’re into porn (there is a nice plicture inside for you.)    - Wonka Vision #3, March ‘98

Snotty punk roawk in all its grimy, slopy beauty! Mixing acidic humor with a snarling guitar/vocal team-up, snap-Her’s Andi Beltramo lives up to the album’s title, Queen Bitch of R’n’R. She’s a tough-as-shit bitch, but she has the decency to put out a good record on how much everything sucks and everyone’s an asshole. Songs like Nice Girls (Don’t Play Rock & Roll) and Sex Change stand out from the pack (and, hell, it’s kinda cool that Andi sings in Spanish and yer still trying to sing along), but roadburners like I wanna Beavis You are what Queen Bitch is all about. 17 tracks in all, 34 minutes of anger-fueled punk - heaven help you if you call it chick rock. - Lollipop #43, March ‘98

Wow, she ain’t kiddin’ callin’ herself the Queen Bitch of Rock’n’Roll either. The inside back cover of the CD pictres, perhaps the Queen bitch herself, getting ready to serve someone up a golden cocktail. - Reglar Wiglar #10, March ‘98

And on the eighth day God created Andi Beltramo, the most pissed off, non politically correct, punk rock chick ever. Seventeen great punk tunes will keep you glued to this disc. Suburban Brats, Nice Girls and Golden Cocktail are the best and most ferocious songs here. Two songs are sung in Spanish and one other in German. Produced by the UK Subs Nicky Garratt. After listening to this disc, I was praying that Andi herself would come walking through my front door with the sole mission of severely beating me with my dirty sweat socks. I think I’m in love. - Askey Reviews #1, March ‘98

Yah!! Yet another great release by NRA. I’m not really familiar with any of Snap-Her’s stuff, this I found quite enjoyable. Fronted by a kick ass female singer, Andi Beltramo (scary), Snap-Her play aggressive puk rock@Rollwith 2 songs in Spanish and one in German. Influences by such bands like the Ramones, The Clash, and Joan Jett. Produced by UK Subs Nicky Garratt. Just a terrific CD. Songs to look out for: Gato Fao, I Wanna Bevis You, Criminal Mind, Suburban Brats, and many more. Plus there is also a special picture inside the CD for you horny dogs. Get it and find out for yourselves.  - Spoiled Whine #7, February ‘98

Where the hell does NRA get these bands? Snap-Her is reminiscent to the days of ol’, but is progressive enough to shatter those girl band stereotypes. Andrea Beltramo is almost poetic in the way she attacks the suburban brats and the bottomfeeders that inhabit this land. Nothings sacred and this band loves to break hearts.    - Schism #13, February ‘98 Of all the punk bands coming out in the last few years, I've only heard a few that I think are really worth their weight in salt. Many are on NRA and Snap-Her have proven to be some of the best. Mind you, I don't have the $$ to go out and get everything that NRA has to offer, so that's why I'm going to ask YOU to do it for me. That's right! As soon as you get EVERY SINGLE THING on the label, call me (or write). I'll go to your house, sit on your chair, eat your food and we'll have a guh-REAT time!!! Seriously now, my top three fave bands on NRA are this one, Jack Killed Jill (in case my review in the last issue left you confused), and probably Anti-Flag. Write to NRA, ask for a catalog (right fucking NOW, damn it) and see if you can get on the mailing list as the catalog isn't just a list of stuff to buy, but also has columns just like our favorite magazines! Yeah!The main constant in this band is singer/guitarist andi Beltramo, who switches to bass on this follow up to “It smells, It burns, It...” More rock'n'roll then you’d expect on cuts like Sex Change which takes one back to CBGB’s 1976 with name drops of cheetah Chrome and Wayne/Jayne county, and Nice Girls (Don’t Play Rock’n’roll). For you trilinguals, there’s two numbers sung in spanish and one in German. Maybe a tad too heavy with the Kathleen Hanna style bickering (i.e. Conformist Cunt). Nonetheless, some solid punk rock here.  - Loose Screws #12, January ‘98

Snap-Her sounds like a cross between DA Darts and JCC. It all depends on which cut you drop it on. There are serious low energy moments on this record along with an occasional gem, but the bottom line is that I expect a bit more energy from a group that exposes it’s own labia and clitoris on the inside sleeve. Why? Maybe I’ve been socialized that way, but this is my opinion. Oh yeah, “Alien Bitch From Outer Space” is better than any of the recent cramps stuff, so maybe you can write and see if they’ll sell you that by itself. Expose yourself, make big money, and buy CD’s.  - MRR #177, January ‘98

Snap-Her up! This cd slams out the screams, the rage and the twisted concepts that speak the truth of our screwed-up world. You'd have to be a"conformist cunt" (or cock) not to appreciate this one. This baby hasone, big wail of a gun!  - San Francisco Liberation Radio, January ‘98

It Smells, It Stings, It Burns...And among other things, it seethes!!! For the most part, this disk rages out and out with the best of ‘em and packs more schlong than Johnny Holmes did back in the day. And tell me - who else would write a song about Jimmy Gestapo?? A disk that’s worth any inquiry.   - Guillotine #16, January ‘98

“Pretty good disc of straight-up snot nosed punk rock. No pop, no fold, no funk, no metal... None of that shit, just punk in all capitals. The lyrics are humorous and obnoxious, and I’m sure some will be upset, but that’s life. Sixteen tracks of this, including all the songs from their “We’re Snap-Her” EP.  - Engine #4, January ‘98

“Lovely looking ladies who remind me of PMT to a tee, this is the sort of stuff you want to listen to at gigs. 16 tracks of nice titles like ‘Penile implant’ Clintro’ and ‘Blue Balls’ these girls give you the idea you don’t take them for granted.”  - Necro News #4, May ‘97

“A three chic outfit that dish out some of the best old school punk I’ve heard in a very long time. Distortion turned up on the guitar, a poppy bass, and distinctive vocals and drums - you can’t go wrong. And best of all, no whiny feminist protocol (meaning they don’t hide behind any masks) - they are more confident, strong and self-identified. And check out these songs, ‘I Hate Christmas,’ ‘Fuck Earth Day,’ and ‘Dumpster Dive.’ Now that’s classic written all over it.”  - Shredding Material #10, February ‘97

I had been hearing about these gals forever, and then I finally got this CD to review. Well, they are one of my favorite bands now. These chicks are so fucking PR, I can’t believe it. I mean, you have to like an all girl punk band that sings a song about blue balls. But anyhow, these gals play rad ‘77 style punk with so much attitude. You have to get into them because they will rock your punk ass. And all this coming from a guy who is not really that into girl bands. I gueess I’m being forced to change my ways, thanx to Snap-Her”  - UPC #3, December ‘96

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“Three of those really crusty punk ‘chicks’ (every ‘scene’ has at least three) got together, learned how to ‘play’ their instruments fairly adeptly, and immediately put out an album full of amusing songs about contemporary punk humor on NRA”  - S-854, December ‘96“

Ack. These gals are scary! But they rock out. We’re talking fierce, fierce punk rock here kids. This is snotty and mean and just raw as hell. Snap-Her holds nothing back in what they hate. They got songs about hating Christmas and Earth Day, and a song about beer, and even a song about Jimmy Gestapo of Murphy’s Law! I like this one a lot. Give it a listen. Their drummer, Suzy, is now in Total Chaos.”   - Trouble Bound #5, December ‘96

“Off L.A., the 3 Snap-Her’s punk-girls are putting out a great CD, with amazing songs in the true old punk rock style, in contrast with almost everything from California nowadays. Very good vocals, really alike Cinder Block (Tilt). We thank New Red Archives for sending the CD.”  - Rock Together (Brazil), December ‘96

“Cool. Finally, some dope ass punk. songs like ‘I hate Christmas’ and ‘You’re so Lame’ and ‘Fuck Earth Day’. Punk as fuck! My personal favorites on this album are ‘Postal Worker (Oi Oi Oi)’ and ‘Beer’ Go get this album”  - Boar Dome #8, November ‘96

“Oh baby, these chycks rock! Forget about all that Veruca Cub crap and dig in to some Snap-Her. 16 songs in just over 26 minutes; pure Punk with titles like I hate Christmas, Anal Retention, and Blue Balls. Fuckin’ @!”  - Fist City #6, Nov. ‘96

“Don’t fuck with Snap-Her...they’re mean, they’re ornery, they don’t take shit. Actually, Andi Beltramo, in particular, doesn’t take shit, since she’s continuing the band without the rhythm section that appears on this album (and they’re calling themselves Snap-Her, with a different guitarist, but Andi’s band is the real one--got that?). Anyway, piledriving blitz, touching on garage, Ramones-a-rama, a bit of oi and delivered with lots of bile. Lots of fuck-off sentiments for ‘Friend,’ ‘You’re So Lame’ and ‘Anal Retention,’ while ‘Be My Girl’ almost gets sentimental. Rough and raw and with some killer tunes.”    - Suburban Voice #39, November ‘96

“A female drunk punk band doing the same tired ass chord progression that have been used by 20 better bands. The lyric writing is just as fatigued as the music. Maybe I could get into this lame drunk approach to punk if my family wasn’t full of alcoholics, but it is and I can’t . Keep running away and drowning in self-pity, girls, just don’t expect me to sing along.”   - Change #8, October ‘96

“With the ever-popular wave of straight-edge and politically correct bands presently dominating the punk scene, I recently wondered if those non-politically correct kids had an adequate supply of music to listen to. If not, they do now. Snap-Her have just released a CD full of ‘I don’t give a fuck’ anthems with titles like ‘Fuck Earth Day,’ ‘I hate Christmas,’ and ‘Beer.’ It’s really a fun album; lots of sing-alongs, riffs I’ve heard before, and female vocals. Actually, they’re an all-female band (yay!). Although I don’t personally agree with all of their lyrics, the album is still enjoyable!”   - Stylus Vol. 7 #6, July ‘96

“More from New Red Archives who seem to be signing up a few new US bands, Snap-Her being an all girl band who play very old school punk rock with a bit of an Oi influence. They look punk as fuck too!! Definitely not PC, with song titles like Fuck Earth Day, Beer, You’re So Lame etc., although the lyrics aren’t included with the CD (would have been plenty of room to include them). Basic sounding, but tuneful, gets those feet moving pretty well!! They’re from Los Angeles, California!!”    - Ripping Thrash #12, September ‘96

“When I first heard this all girl punk bands demo tape, I thought they were the shit. But I don’t like this new stuff nearly so much. I think they’ve lost some of the crunch, and gone for some of that old punk sound with lots of clean guitar, and there’s a lot of whiny singing. Oh well, some of the songs are good, but I’m disappointed overall.”   - Slug & Lettuce #45, September ‘96

“Well, well, well this is not what I expected. Sorry, but I think these gals are trying way too hard to be ‘punk.’ I don’t buy it. Stuff like ‘I hate Christmas, I beat up Santa’s elves, I piss on the mistletoe, piss on the fucking tree’ just sound stupid. The music isn’t really all that exciting either...very generic sounding punk, nothing really memorable. Anti-pc to a really ridiculously stupid level. Do yourself a favor and get the LOUDMOUTHS cd instead.  - Aunt Franne #4, September ‘96

“Snap-Her defiantly wave the punk rock flag with their straight forward in-you-face attitude that grabs your ears. They blend catchy 70’s punk reminiscent of X-Ray Specs with the flash and brashness of 80’s Brit-Punk. Favorite songs ‘Be my Girl’ and ‘Blue Balls.’” - Outcast #3, Sept. ‘96

“Since I’m not a big fan of grrl punk, I decided to give this album a second chance by mailing it to a friend from IRC for her to do a review because she DOES like this type of music. Snap-Her is another New Red Archives band. I’m pretty sure they come from L.A., CA, but I’m not sure. Anyways, they’re a 3-girl punk band that plays grrl rawk, I don’t know, it just isn’t my thing. This album starts up with a musical intro called ‘Cilintro’ which I think sums up this album pretty well. You would think with an instrumental that the band would display some musical talent, but they don’t. It’s just like 2 or 3 chords and there’s no progression or anything, just like playing around, no talent displayed here. It sounds raw, which I assume is the sound they’re aiming at, but all the sexual innuendo in the music and all the curses and gutter rock just doesn’t cut it for me. Most of the songs suck with no musical or lyrical talent. ‘You’re So Lame’ starts out with one of the girls just saying ‘you’re so lame’ about nine times displaying her inability to sing. Another friend from IRC Rodney aka Bolshevik, said he saw these guys live and they sucked. Another kid Drew, aka Dr [oO], said since he hates most things, he thinks he would hate this stuff too. I promised them both I’d use them in my review, so this one goes out to you guys!=) There are no musical highlights on this album, but hopefully the other review by Shannon aka Subgurl at IRC will shed some light on this album.”                             - Steve, SkaFunk RastaPunk Online Zine“Steve sent this CD to me to review because he did not like it. Well, I like it. Snap-Her sound a lot like a 90’s version of the Slits. Snap-Her are on New Red Archives. Snap-Her consists of Andrea Beltramo on guitar and lead vocals, Suzy Owens on drums and backing vocals and Lisa Pifer on bass and backing vocals. They are a 3 gurl punk band. They aren’t the best band in the whole world or anything but they have a very catchy, fun sound to them. Their lyrics aren’t very ‘deep’ or good but they are cute and seem to get their point through. They sound a bit like the Smears. Andrea’s scratchy, snotty voice and the catchy riffs are what makes this band so fun to listen to. Overall, I liked this album a lot. I don’t recommend this to anyone who looks for deep lyrical content or perfection in their music. It’s just a fun album. I think my favorite songs have to be ‘Be My Girl’ ‘There She Goes’ and ‘Fuck Earth Day.’ ‘Be My Girl and ‘There She Goes’ are their most talented and well produced songs. ‘Fuck Earth Day’ is just funny and I like it. ‘Blueballs and ‘Jimmy Gestapo’ have to be the album’s lamest songs. With lyrics like ‘Blueballs, it’s no fun when you can’t come!’ you’ve just got to cringe. As for ‘Jimmy Gestapo’ that song just flat out sucks, it’s boring and Jimmy Gestapo is not worthy of a song in his honor.”        - Subgurl, SkaFunkRastaPunk Online Zine

“The best thing to say about this record is, these girls are pissed! Great 3-chord punk rock with cool song names too: “I Hate Christmas,’ ‘Fuck Earth Day,’ ‘Bloodsuckers,’ and ‘Blue Balls.’ Whatever you do don’t get in their way.”   - Heckler, October ‘96

“What drew me to this record was their take off on the MEATMEN ‘We’re The Meatmen’ cover. But not only is the cover good, the music’s good too. Mid-tempo punk in a humorous vein, which will explain the goofy lyrics, especially this gem of a line from ‘Fuck Earth Day’; ‘I hate hippies in the park, I like to beat them after dark.” How can you top that?”    - (On “We’re Snap-Her and You Suck”) Engine #3, August ‘96

“Girls in leather being rude, crude and generally obnoxious. Yes. Works for me. Punk rock? Oh yeah. This is a pretty pissed off album and obscenities are plenty. The sound reminds me of early Buzzcocks jamming with The Meatmen (!) and the results are pretty damn good. My favorites are ‘Anal Retention’ and ‘I Hate Christmas.’ The latter is a must for later on during the year (say around the last couple of weeks of December) to really piss your Swedish-raw-fish-eating-christmas-celebrating-so-called-friends off. ‘Anal Retention’ is probably the catchiest song on this CD. Apart from ‘Beer’ that is. The first time I listened to this I walked around the whole day humming “Beer Beer Beer Beer Beer,” and then it kind of makes you want a beer. This and a couple of other stuff I got from New Red Archives (and ISF!) have restored my faith in the female ability to rock. In the last year or so, I’ve seen a bunch of all girl bands which have really failed to impress me. Not mentioning any names but a certain P-U-N-K-E-R-C-H-I-C-K-S (that’s how THEY put it) band really put me off girl bands. But I guess I was wrong. Cause Snap-Her are not lame and Andrea, Suzy and Lisa, along with all 16 tunes on this CD, rock. And that’s official cause I said so. There’s this one song where they keep saying ‘I Don’t Get It’! Errr..I’ll give it to you...baby!  - Teenage Vampires # 210 1/2 Tizillion, August ‘96

“The follow-up to last years (as far as I know) 7” on Triple X. The girls from LA kicked through 16 tracks in 26 minutes that will move you immediately. Straight ahead, 3 chord Punk Rock tunes that are catchy, fast and a lot of fun. The Post Office seems to be catching a lot of flack these days, after DBL’s ‘Post Office Lament’ and now Snap-Her’s ‘Postal Worker’, I wonder if Mr. Portolano is going to SNAP someday? Say it isn’t so! My personal faves are ‘I Hate Chrismas’ and ‘Bloodsuckers.’ This is a great CD and I can’t wait to catch them live.” - Under the Volcano #33, August ‘96

“Girl punk - loads of attitude - loads of old school sounding snot rock. Former member of the Creamers involved, if that means anything to you trivia buffs - the whole thing smells, burns and stings like one big gimmick, but who am I to judge, right? It’s very listenable, but every time I play it, I keep trying to figure out if this is some sort of novelty gag or something. It’s as if they’re p-rock harlequines. On a scale of 1-10, I’ll give it a “6.5,” but I defer judgement until I hear their next effort.”  - Etch #9, August ‘96

“Man (no pun intended), these girls are tuff punksters. Fast and kick ass punk songs. Classics like ‘Blue Balls’ only confirm just how fucked this stuff is. It’s fast, it’s punk, where does this label dig up so many good punk fucked girls, I’m tellin’ ya the vocals cut right through right with the music. This kicks. When your date starts acting up, just slap this in your stereo.”   - Annex-x #9, August ‘96

“Real fine snotty as hell punk’n’roll from these San Francisco chicks who play and sing like they could pop your ass in minutes. Even if I never heard this record, they would still score points with me for having songs called ‘Fuck EArth Day’ and ‘I hate Christmas.’ Luckily, the music’s kickin’ here, too...rockin’ like a kick to your face.”-Noises from the Garage #9, August ‘96

“Wicked punk!”- Roctober #16, August ‘96

“Heavy hardcore sung by very gruff sounding girls. Finally, I found a girl band that doesn’t shriek and ssqueal. I wouldn’t want to get on these girls’ shit list - they’re tough!”    - FOE #35, August ‘96

“It Sucks. Three girl punk band, mohawks and all. Funny band name. But that’s probaably the only pleasing thing about this record. Punk has become so easy, now anyone with some instruments and enough pictures to make a collage on their record can have a band. Ugh -Muddle #8, August ‘96

“This is snotty bitch punk. These 3 ladies are pretty damn cool. F**k Earth Day is one of my favorite songs of the year and with lines like “I hate hippies in the park / I like to beat them after dark” how can it not rule?? Even Jimmy Gestapo (Murphy’s Law) gets a jab in the track bearing his name. Snap-Her pulls no punches.”   - Rubberneck #8, July ‘96

“It Smells, It Burns, It Stings’ by Snap-Her (get it?) combines equal parts Rancid, Tribe 8 and Pansy Division for a four chord punk romp through ‘Anal Retention,” ‘Beer,’ ‘Penile Implant’ and our favorite low-rent sport, sport, the ‘Dumpster dive.’ Aaaaah, the smell of punks in the summer.”  - Insider, July 12, 1996

“Snap-Her is a three piece chick, punk band that has the edge that would make a grumpy, old man wince. Ebergy galore, as well as attitudes straight out of England ten years ago spew from their stage. I Hate Christmas, being one of the cuts on this CD, fucking rocks! These women had a profound effect on the serenity of my mind as well as touched my heart with pillows of kindness...NAW, fuck that, these chicks are straight up CRASS and LOUD. But hey, I didn’t say that I didn’t like them.” Heckler #9, July ‘96

“Usually I am not that fond of female vocalists but Snap-Her showed me a thing or two. Cool old style punk rock with an attitude. We have songs about beer, songs about Jimmy Gestapo and even one called ‘Fuck Earth Day.’ What more can you ask for? For a relatively new band Snap-Her are off to a great start. If you are into good, catchy punk rock give it a listen. Warning: this is not for the typical EF reader.”    - Extent #7, July ‘96

“Tell you what guys, there have been lots of girls rocking my world lately and crashing right into the middle of the big sleepover are Snap-Her with family sing-along classics like ‘I Hate Christmas,’ ‘Fuck Earth Day’ and ‘Blue Balls.’ The music’s flung from side to side and whipped into shape from song to song, but it’s the vocals that push this record into infamy. The rhythm section is thick and chunky and the guitar wails. ‘You’re so Lame’ and ‘Beer’ are both hilarious. When she snarls ‘get out of my face you stupid bitch’ or ‘don’t you come near my beer,’ I’d pay money to watch what unfolds if someone was actually stupid enough to challenge her. Tough as spikes, fuck-you attitude has never sounded quite so beautiful.”   - Spank #17, July ‘96

“These sweet little ladies were the backup band for Nina Hagen. Tight, oi style punk with a lot of attitude. You can really hear the thumpy bass on this. They look like they’re from 1979 with their spikes and clothes. Very funny lyrics! My favorite song title ‘I Hate Christmas’ because I hate Christmas. I heard they have a new bassist and drummer.”  - Trailer Trash #6, July ‘96

This all-female trio out of smog-free L.A. backed 80’s punk legend Nina Hagen on a ‘95 U.S. tour and are now doing their own thing. Fronted by Andrea Beltramo (of the Creamers), these girls are shelling out garage style pop-punk complete with wild early-80’s new-wave garb and lots of positive songs like ‘I Hate Christmas,’ ‘Fuck Earth Day,’ and ‘You’re So Lame.’”- Velvet’s Underground, Monkey Magnet Zine #3, April ‘96

“Have you ever eaten a steak and like a week later you find a gritty, stringy piece of meat stuck between your teeth? Well, that pulverized flesh is what this disc sounds like. On It Smells, It Burns, It Stings...Snap-Her comes correct with straight-up female punk that doesn’t pretend to be anything else. They don’t waste any dressing up their opinions on tracks like ‘You’re so lame,’ which deals with the sorry status quo of femininity, or ‘Beer,’ an ode to every good little punk’s favorite drink. The vocals are dripping in beer and cigarettes like a gutter and the music just makes you want to kick walls repeatedly. I really wish I could say something bad about this CD, but there isn’t a damn thing wrong with it. If you want the furthest thing in world from the sappy college rock and MTV “punk” that we’ve been inundated with, then this is it!”  - Impact Press, April ‘96

“Another strong release once again showing me why I love this label so much. Street punk similar to Blanks 77 done by grrls. Anti-PC to the max. I love it! Hard to say which is my favorite song but ‘Penile Implant’ is probably the most memorable. Another record to add to your shopping list.”  - The Joy of Laura #5, May ‘96                   

A trashy, very anti-PC attempt at punky rock’n’roll pretty much sums this album and band up. They’re not the prettiest of women, but their tunes are sure to have you shaving your head and swearing a lot!”    - Mad Monks #6, May ‘96

“It’s nice to see an all girl band come out with a real good ‘fuck it’ attitude. Pretty much your standard 1-2 punk rock. I think their image of leather clad, mohican fishnet wearing may be getting them a little more recognition than they deserve. I am sure they are every adolescent punk boy’s wet dream.” - Shocking Images #6, May ‘96

“This CD features the original Snap-Her with Andi Beltramo, who is a fucking babe. Angry punk rock with a lot of humor in their lyrics”  - Breakout Hardcore Fanzine #2, June ‘96

“Awesome fun hardcore/punk and not PC in the least, girl punk that thankfully escapes the whole grrrrl thing, why aren’t there more bands like this?”  - Dan, Ten Things #13, June ‘96

“Aside from the fact that these three women are obviously graduates of The Lee Ving School of Moronic Song Lyrics and Obnoxious Stage Antics, they rock pretty hard. Straight leather and spikes punk with some chantey choruses and descending barre cords. In light of all the controversy surrounding the members of this band, it may or may not be interesting to note that this release represents their original line up. With songs like ‘Beer,’ ‘Jimmy Gestapo’ and ‘I Hate Christmas’ you know exactly what kind of LA punk rock you’re getting into.”   - DWGSHT zine #7, June ‘96

“An all female rock driven band from LA. They have a seventy stylish punk sound which is well assembled. They are quite solid and have swell music. Good tunes about “Beer” or “Be My Girl.” Connie.   - Caustic Truths #40, June ‘96

“I was eagerly anticipating this album, and when I got it, I was not let down. Snap-Her slams sixteen beer-fueled pogo/oi! songs down your throat all the while keeping your foot tapping away. These garter belt and fish-net stocking wearing anarchist chics know how to put out a rockin’ fun album. This is a party album - put it on and hit repeat so it’ll still be playing the next afternoon when you wake up (with a hang over) to clean up the empty bottles and puke. Recommended.”   - Interbang #4, June ‘96

“At its best Snap-Her’s CD is as much fun as the Loudmouths’s. Sure there’s some filler but ‘Anal Retention’, ‘There She Goes’, ‘Be MY Girl’ and ‘Postal Worker’ tip the balance to a thumbs up.”  - Go Metric #5, June ‘96

“It certainly lives up to its title. This is the original Snap-Her, featuring Andrea Beltramo (ex-Creamers) who played in Nina Hagen’s back-up band for several shows in NY and LA. Their first full-length release contains 13 tracks of snotty, snarling ‘77 -style punk, with jagged guitar hooks and sandpaper vocals. They sound like a cross between the Exploited and Murphy’s Law which is not surprising considering they do a song called ‘Jimmy Gestapo’ that’s almost...cute. But don’t let that fool you. This tranchant trio of trashy-looking chicks are not the kind of girls you’d bring home to meet the folks. They’d probably kick you in the nuts for even suggesting it.”  - Lollipop, June ‘96

“Keeping it extremely Punk. It Smells, It Burns, It Stings, by Snap-Her on New Red Archives is snotty, brash, juvenile, obnoxious, and I love it. Imagine NOFX crossed with FEAR crossed with the SMEARS! A fat, chunky sound and a f***-you attitude ensures their abrasive simplicity isn’t confused with all that pop pap around at the moment. No, these girls have got balls! (Shurely there’s shome mishtake, hic...) They’re touring the UK in the Autumn, so make sure you go along and try to peer up their leather mini-skirts...I’m sure the ensuing hospitalization would be well worth it.”                         - Terrorizer, June ‘96

“I’m a sucker for girl bands and this trio has got me. Nice chord changes, decent vocals. One of the better bands on this label. Cool songs like “I Hate Christmas,’ ‘Blue Balls,’ ‘Fuck Earth Day,’ and ‘Dumpster Dive.’ Not your average boring lyrics.” - Isotope, June ‘96

“Bondage gear, sneers, and beers, these girls aren’t prom queens. They play 80’s style Oi with lots of attitude. With songs like ‘I Hate Christmas,’ ‘Postal Worker,’ ‘Be My Girl,’ and ‘You’re so Lame’ etc. Check it out.”   - Tab, June ‘96

“On that picket fence where a good many bands impale themselves: the fence of the mindless following of punk archetypes that keeps out the seemingly greener pastures of major label exposure, there are some fence acrobats-bands that pull off what many other can’t. Snap-Her has great balance. With the humor of NOFX and the primitivism of Butt Trumpet, these women are pissing on the neighbors’ lawns and making a bon fire with the picket fence. If all the new ground has already been broken, so be it. We need a picnic on the punk landscape before it turns into another track home in the suburbia of modern business. Snap-Her’s the perfect appetizer. Chow down. P.S. This lineup is now defunct.”   - Flipside #102, June ‘96

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